


How my London trip shouldn't have turned out

by Lesemaus15



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lesemaus15/pseuds/Lesemaus15
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So what happens, when you couldn't meet your favourite Youtubers on a convention,<br/>but accidentally run into them in a London Starbucks?<br/>Tell me would you be brave enough to talk to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys :)  
> so maybe some of you know my name because of Twitter/Tumblr,  
> so I just kept it :)  
> Well my first Fanfic in english  
> apologize in advance: for sounding like a 5 year old, writing like a 10 year old, any grammar or spelling mistakes :)  
> I hope some of you will like it :)  
> please don't be mean in the comments  
> #Nicerinternet

Thursday

I was the third time in London, and the first time since I was obsessed with Dan and Phil, i didn’t wanted to stalk them, so even when we went somewhere I tried to see if they twittered something, so that i at least had a clue not running into them. Don’t get me wrong I am a 100% Phangirl, but i didn't want to be someone stalker because I was in London, I just loved the city and the culture so much. I wasn't alone in London, though my friend would have to fly back home earlier, because of a school project. Luckily I knew some people in London, well the whole Phandom, and i would be going to a met up, the day after my Friend would leave. So because we loved Merlin, Doctor Who, Sherlock and so much other stuff the BBC did, we went to the BBC to look at the building, happily i looked at the building realizing that this was where so many of my obsessions had been born or had been pitched. I was so enchanted by the building winded up in my thoughts, when we heard some familiar voices, going out of the building. I knew it was them, but I was to scared to talk to them, my friend wanted me to follow them and at least tell them, what they did for me. But i couldn’t, I just didn’t want to annoy them, because they had enough fans, who would harass them and do other stupid things.  
We stayed a bit longer, because I just wanted to memorize the building, and imagined how great it would be living in London someday and just being able to go near by everyday.

My friend Ella decided we should stop somewhere to eat, or at least drink something in a Starbucks, so we went to the nearest Starbucks we could find. After taking our ordered things to the table, I started to realize, that I actually blew my chance of talking to Dan and Phil. Almost crying I said to Ella how upset I was, that I couldn't really talk to them, because i didn't want them to feel annoyed by me and it was only an excuse, because I was so insecure and selfless in every chapter of my life. „So why didn’t you just said something.“, a well known voice asked, I thought my ear tricked me, but when i turned around it really was danisnotonfire, who was asking, I completely froze. And knowing me Ella just talked to Dan. „Oh God she froze, don’t worry, it’s just her being panicky and starstruck. Please just talk to her, she is so obsessed with you and your Friend, not in a creepy way, just in a "their nice, they make me smile" way. She always wanted to meet you and waited to have enough money for a convention. But I couldn't come with her that week, and she really was upset, and going back to your question…“, Ella stopped and looked at me, and I just tried to remind myself that I was as much a fail as Dan, and somehow I stopped to be frightened. „Because I didn’t wanted to be stalker fan or something? And probably because i knew that I would freeze, so yeah that’s basically it.“ And then Dan did something really unbelievable, he took the third chair and sat down. I confusedly stared at him, and he explained. „You couldn’t meet us on the convention, so that’s your chance, ask the questions, say what you wanted to say, your chance.“ „But, you don’t have to, I don’t want to annoy you, and i know you and Phil are so busy. And actually we should go back to the hotel you need to pack“, I knew, what i was saying sounded like a five year old, but give me some credit, Dan Howell was siting next to me in London. „Maria no, your favourite Youtuber is siting next to you, hell, you will talk to him, I will find my way back to the Hotel, could you, Dan? Just make sure she will get safe to our hotel please?“, Ella said and attempted to get up. Dan answered „Sure, I promise she will be safe.“, he smiled and i swear i almost fainted, yes i was crushing on danisnotonfire, but who could blame me?!

Just before Ella left Phil arrived with their orderings, Ella smiled at Phil me and Dan and left, while Phil took her place. „Weren’t you in front of the BBC building today?“ Phil asked and i nervously chewed my lip. „Yes. I didn’t want stalk you or something, it’s just the place where my favourite TV shows are, i mean metaphorically. I was really caught up in the thought of Sherlock, Doctor Who and Merlin being in this building at some point.“ „I think you forget the most important thing in there.“, Phil said, and the he said I started to laugh. „Right, the Dan and Phil show, Lords of the Internet, right?“ I certainly looked at Dan and he cringed. „I knew you would cringe.“ „She’s a fan“, Dan said explaining to Phil and he just smiled at me. „She couldn’t make it to the convention, so i thought, we could at least talk to her.“ I blushed, and when Dan smiled at me I blushed even more. 

After that we talked about everything, from Anime to the pronunciation of Zebra, it was great, we laughed so much, and I asked many things I wanted to know about their filming process, how they, well more how phil, could keep the book a secret for so long.

Dan looked at me the whole evening with fascinating eyes, and i blushed the whole time, or at least I felt like blushing, when Dan said something, that reminded me of something that i found so adorable about him. I hoped he didn’t notice me crushing on him, though, i knew I was only crushing on the things he showed his audience, but he wasn’t that different in real life, maybe a bit happier.

Dan left to go to the toilet, so me and Phil talked alone, and I told him, that I always looked at his videos if i needed a little sunshine in my life. He was really touched about it, and I was happy that I knew that he really was sincerely happy, because he made me smile.

Out of the blue, he asked.„You have a crush on Dan, haven’t you?“ I started at him and answered. „Yes I do, but more in this, he is so adorable in his videos way, I know he isn’t like that in real life, so I am crushing on danisnotonfire, on the things he let see the audience. But well the real Dan is as sweet as his internet persona“ „Well he likes something about you, i can tell, he wouldn’t just sat down with you and your friend. He’s Dan don’t forget, he wouldn’t really interact with someone, if he doesn’t want to“ Phil said thoughtfully „Why are you saying this Phil, you just getting my hopes up.“ i said sadly „ Because he actually went up to a fan himself, i guess he heard something, and just went up to you, he doesn’t do things like this often. And I like you too, you seem really nice, and him being so open to a stranger, is quite special, just don’t think of him as some God, because he is as normal as you. We both are, just don’t be scared to say something wrong, we know how you feel.“ „Thanks Phil, just one thing, do I imagine things, or does Dan stare at me?“, Phil started laughing. „Well know heart-eyes-Howell doesn’t seem this lovely anymore, does it.“ „Wait, are you telling me Dan, looked at me the same way he looks at you.“, my voice went higher asking him. „Yep, just don’t tell him.“


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :D  
> well that's the next chapter :D  
> I hope you like it :)  
> -azusa

Friday

„So Dan said you couldn’t come to the convention?“, Phil asked „Well yes, I wasn’t allowed to go alone to England, and my friend couldn’t go in the other week, so we went this one, and officially she stays until next week, but she has a school project so she will be leaving tomorrow, and i will be alone here, well not really alone, my Dad is in the City because of a meeting, but I won’t really see him, just for emergencies. Am I talking too much?“, i silently ended. „No it’s ok, like i said don’t worry, it’s normal to talk much around people you like.“ I smiled, i was really touched how much Phil wanted me to feel comfortable. 

„So whats your story, how you become a Phangirl?“ he asked, and because he looked so sincerely interested, I pushed myself to say something: „Oh dear, do you really want to know?“ „You sound like Dan, haha, come on tell me, I’ll bye you a cookie, if you tell me.“ he laughed. „Why didn’t you offered a cookie in the first place, haha. Ok, it’s a relatively boring story. Well, some idiot had broken my heart, and I was desperately trying to find something that made me laugh, so I was scrolling through tumblr, and I followed a few youtube blogs back then, and saw some of your gifs, and I never really looked you up, so in my heartbroken mood, I decided to go on Youtube. I think my first video of you was Phil is not on fire 6 and I was laugh-crying so hard, so i watched all previous ones. And honestly, please don't be offended Phil, Dan had this beautiful brown eyes and he doesn’t look bad too, so I started with his videos first, he had the same humour as me and the same strange flaws, so i watched like 80% of his videos in 2 days, and then I started with yours, and you became my sunshine, when I was sad, I always watched some of your videos, I think my favourite one was „Lost in the Mall“, so you two became the reason I could smile, and I watched your videos everywhere in the tube on the way to the market, I was so desperate and they made me genuinely happy, and with the time my heartbreak got better and I just enjoyed your videos and live streams and at some point I was a Phangirl, but I never really shipped you, because your friendship reminded me of mine with Ella. So do I get my cookie?“ I asked with a big smile and when Phil was about to respond, Dans voice answered from behind. „You can have mine. Big brown eyes, hmm?“ I jumped and felt my face blushing. „You heard everything, didn’t you?“ I stated unable to look into his eyes. „Yes, and I am glad we helped you to get through your heartbreak.“ „Yeah me too“ Phil added. „So eat your cookie.“, Dan said and looked at me while I looked at him, Phil was right, heart eyes Howell felt much more intense in real life.

In that very second my phone vibrated in my pocket, and i shockingly realized, how late it was. „Oh god, I didn't think it would get this late, I really need to get going.“ „Does someone waits for you?“, Dan asked „Well no, but Ella is flying away tomorrow and I need to bring her to the airport and then there is this meet up, oh god, how could i not look at the clock.“ I said panicky „Ok calm down, you spend one day with Dan and Phil, no wonder you forgot the time?“ he laughed and i answered with a smile „Aren’t you a bit too full of yourself Mr. Howell.“ „Maybe, just don’t worry, we will bring you back to your hotel, just eat your cookie and then we go.“, Dan said in his calming voice. „Thank you, you know you could just call me a cab?“, I said and started eating my cookie, and Dan replied „I promised your friend I bring you back safe, I’ll keep this promise.“ „Dan I actually need to finish editing the video, is it ok, if I drive home?“ Phil asked and Dan nodded, and my inner Phangirl just said „We get a new AmazingPhil video? The one you promised on Sunday!!! Oh yes please go, i want to watch as soon as possible.“ I actually was a bit jumpy and smiley, and Phil just laughed at me while standing up, he hugged me, said to Dan, that he would see him later and he went off.

„Do you react always like this, when Phil or me upload a video?“, he asked softly, and I almost chocked my cookie, because I tried to swallow too fast. „Yes, my friend hates me sometimes, because I fangirl this much, I mean, I like to fangirl, but it’s ok, if someone tells me to shut up. It’s like you and Phil you can talk about almost everything, but there are some things that you don’t have in common, like formula 1 or Kayne West, so it’s ok that she isn’t as much into Phan as I am.“ „Can I ask you something?“, Dan said and I got nervous and nodded. „Who would you have hugged first, if you had the chance to meet us at the convention.“ „Haha believe it or not, but I thought about this so much, and I actually would have asked you two, if i can hug you both first and then each of you individually.“ I answered really proudly. „That’s really smart and thoughtful of you.“, saying this he smiled and jesus, I really tried hard not to fall for him in real life, because who was I kidding, he was Dan Howell, and I was just a fan, lucky enough to bump into him in London. „Let’s get going.“, Dan announced and stood up, he slipped in his jacket and then helped me with mine, which was a really nice gesture.

I felt really tired, so I didn’t really tried to keep conversation going, when we were inside the cab. I think Dan noticed, so he didn’t actually tried to talk to me, and I just stared out of the window. At some point, I felt tears, and I couldn’t stop, so Dan looked panicky at me. „Hey Maria, what is it?“ „I just… Sorry, it’s just, this is like cinderella isn’t it, when I get out of the cab, I will never see you again, which I totally understand, and believe me this was the best day of my life, it’s just really bittersweet that it ends.“ I said trying to smile, because I was happy, I got more than I thought of, I mean he even brought me back to the hotel, and shortly after we arrived at our destination. Looking at the taximeter, I grabbed my purse to search for the money, but before I even could open it, Dan handed the man the money. I clumsily got out of the Taxi and was even more surprised Dan got out aswell. „It’s ok Dan, I think I can go upstairs by myself, go home.“ I said worried and tired. „I promised your friend you be safe, and after this clumsiness I saw you getting out of the car, I bring you up to your room, I am afraid you will trip.“, he said with a cheeky smile. „Shut up.“, I responded smiling and yawning.

Because I stayed in the first floor we took the stairs, and arriving at my door, I just tried to memorize the whole Moment, Dan standing in front of me, smiling, with this puppy eyes. „So that’s our goodbye then.“, and at this point i couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore and I stared at floor trying to hide the tears, because yes, I fell so hard for him, and not danisnotonfire, no the boy who talked to me about everything today, the way he helped me in my Jacket and paid the cab. The boy who was cheeky and adorable, and now this was coming to an end, and I just couldn’t stop crying. And then he did the worst, best thing he could, he hugged me, until he felt, that i stopped crying. „I am sorry.“, I said and he replied „I am not, you like me, aaa I mean us. It’s really sweet you feel so sad.“ „Yes I do, and no it isn’t I am 20 years old, I should get myself together and be happy that I got to meet you.“, I said strongly or at least I tried saying it that way. I got my phone out of my jacket-pocket and wanted to ask Dan, if I could get a picture of us, but after I unlocked the screen, Dan grabbed my phone, I surprisingly yelped, I hated it when people took my phone. But after a second I got it back. „What did you do?“, I asked. „Nothing, well nothing bad.“, he said mischievously and I stared at him, trying to figure out what he could have done. „Ok… Can we take a picture?“ I asked. „No, but don’t worry you will get you picture.“, he said and felt a sting in my heart. „Wait what does this mean?“, but he didn’t replied he hugged me and whispered in my ear. „Sleep well, Maria, it was a pleasure to met you.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it :D  
> and there is more to come :D  
> -azusa


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday

„I will miss the city so much, I can’t believe I need to leave so soon.“, Ella said and looked so devastated at me, so I hugged her. I wished her a good flight, and promised her to call my dad, and she threatened to do something bad to me, if i don’t keep her updated about Dan and Phil, though, I knew I wouldn’t see him anytime soon. Maybe when they would come to Europe because of their tour. I letted Ella go and she went to the check-in, I look at her the last time and made my way to the Train back to London. I sat down and wanted to turn on my music, when I noticed that I had an short message, form someone called himself as an emoji icon (the guy with the brown hair) on my phone.

:) „Hey, what are you up too today?“  
me: „Who the hell are you?“  
:) „Really, come on!“  
me: „Dan?!!!!“  
:) „Yes, who do you think would text in english, with an emoji con as their name?“  
me: „Don’t know maybe Phil ;)“  
Dan: „Hey :(“  
me: „Don’t be sad, haha, wait did you save yourself in my phone yesterday, when we were standing outside of my room?“  
Dan: „Yeah, wasn’t the smoothest move?“  
me: „maybe it was a bit strange, but you are a bit strange :)“  
Dan: „Is this a compliment?“  
me: „Maybe ;)“  
Dan: „So what will you do today?“  
me: „Don’t know I am on the way back from the airport, haven’t really figured out the day yet. I think, I might go to forbidden planet, because Ella and I didn’t had the chance to go.“  
Dan: „We could go together, Phil wants to see, if they have pikachu tissues, because he didn’t bought them, when we were in Japan.“  
me: „ #Japhan , well maybe it would be a good idea, because getting lost with someone is better than alone.“  
Dan: „Phangirl :P, ok so we see each other like in one hour, I would pick you up?“  
me: „Yeah and I am really proud of it :) That would be great thanks :)“  
Dan: „See you later :)“

I was shaking, did Dan Howell actually asked me to spent the day with them? I tried to catch my breath and breathe properly.

When I finally was in the Hotel again, I was calm enough but there wasn't much time to do a other thing than pack some stuff in my handbag. I quickly texted my dad and told him I would be shopping and he shouldn’t worry. In that moment Dan knocked on my door. Opening the door, I looked up, I always forgot how tall he was, but before I could finish the thought, he hugged me. He didn’t let go, so after some time I just asked sarcastically „Do you ever will let go?“ „No, you are so soft.“, he said, and he said it in this you-are-as-cute-as-a-puppy way. „Come on Dan, let go I want to go and buy some Manga, and where is Phil?“ I asked and tried to free myself, which didn’t work, so I had to wait, until Dan would have let me go. „He was staying up all night because of a video, so I couldn't wake him up, because he looked so tired, but he texted me some minutes ago, so we will meet up there.“ „Can I request something?“, I asked and he looked at me curiously and lift up an eyebrow, so I just asked „Can we actually take the Tube to Tottenham Court Road station, I know there is a other one too, but it is the Harry Potter station which was mentioned in Deathly Hallows, please?“ „You actually are a nerd, sure, never thought of the station in that way, now I am quite sad I didn’t put on the Gryffindor sweater.“ „I’m not, don’t want to ruin your aesthetic“, I said cheekily and Dan smiled at me. „You get a lot more cheeky, with time.“ „Not really, I am always like this, with people I feel comfortable around, and know that I know real Dan a bit better, I am more me, than a Fangirl.“, I said honestly and was afraid it was too much. „Well I like you either way, though it’s nice that you can talk to me without blushing, because you were afraid to say something.“ I blushed, because little did he know, at this point I blushing because of the real Dan.

When we started our journey to Forbidden Planet, I started to ask myself, what Dan would do, if some fans asked him, who I was, but I was quite sure, I would just run away. My thoughts that started to get a bit paranoid where interrupted by Dan asking „Maria?“ „Yes?“ „Everything ok, you seemed like thinking about something frighting?“ „So obvious?“ „Well you stopped smiling so yeah, it’s obvious. Just tell me?“, he stared at me which puppy eyes and I couldn’t not answer. „Well I thought, that it would cause a real shitstorm, if someone of the Phandom sees us? I know the Phandom I mean most of us are nice and respecting, except of the crazy Phangirls, I just don’t want you, to have to explain yourself? I mean I am a nobody on the internet as real me, so my Twitter and Tumblr are safe, but you would get much anonymous hate…“ „Don’t worry, and even if, I would be glad to have a girlfriend, who is as nice as you.“ „Oh shut up, you barely know me!“ „Well I like what I see so far, so come on hypothetical girlfriend let’s get us to the Harry Potter station.“

I felt so awesome being at the station, „Now I just need a dress and heels and I would feel like Hermoine, well maybe not heels, they hurt. Never mind, there will never be the occasion to wear such a dress anyway. Sorry for the fangirl moment, i will just shut up.“ „Cute“, he said smirking and we went to the shop.

„Oh my god, if I die now, I would die a happy human being.“ I literally cried when we went inside. There was everything, DVDs, Comics, Manga, merchandise, everything somebody could ever dream of. I didn’t know in which direction to look first. I looked up my favourite manga series, I had them at home, but I wanted to have the english version, at some point I lost Dan somewhere, but I didn’t mind, because he probably would stick somewhere with Phil. A Tardis necklace caught my eye and I grabbed it, I wanted it for so long but there weren't any in my hometown. 

My Arms were full of stuff, I was afraid that I would drop everything any moment. I carefully moved around, searching for Dan and Phil, I found them near a giant Pikachu toy, they were in a argument about buying it. „Phil we don’t have the space for another Pikachu, and where do you want to put it in your room?“, Dan said and Phil responded „We could put it in lounge on the coach.“ „Why should we do that?“, Dan asked and rolled his eyes. Before I could stop myself I said „Well if some kids of you friends are over, they could play with the pikachu ? Who wouldn't be happy to hug a Pikachu.“ „See, so I will buy it.“ Phil said and went of to pay for the huge Pikachu. „Do you need some help?“, Dan asked, looking at my covered Arms. „aah, It’s ok I can handle-“ before I could finish the sentence almost everything fell to the ground. „Well maybe you should help me.“ Dan grabbed half of the things and we followed Phils path. Before we reached the cashpoint, I saw something quite beautiful and stopped. „Hermoines necklace?“, Dan asked. „Yes, well I don’t have the money to buy it, but just want to look at it, funnily I bought a red dress and red chucks the other day, well maybe I could ask my Dad if he would buy it as a present or something. Ok lets go before I will decided to buy it and don’t have left enough money to by myself some food.“

With 2 bags I left the shop, Dan followed, when I asked where Phil was, Dan said, he forgot to buy something. „What do you want for dinner?“ Dan asked. „Well I don’t mind anything, we could go to your favourite place? Don’t worry, I won’t tell Tumblr.“ I laughed. „Ok, that’s an asian place, how does it sounds?“ „Great, so lets go I am starving.“, I said and jumped out of excitement. „I just text Phil, so he knows where we going.“ And after a couple of minutes, Phil was with us again. „What did you bought?“, I asked. „Don’t be so curious, you will see it soon.“, Phil answered. „So how long do you remain to stay in London?“, Phil asked and I responded „One more week, than I heading back to Austria, you renamed our country once Phil, haha.“ „Ah right, I am excited to visit it, when we are on tour, maybe we see each other?“, said Phil and I nodded and smiled. „I hope I will be able to get some tickets, well not sure if I need VIP tickets, because I am with you in London, and that’s way more, than a couple of minutes as a VIP.“, i said and winked „Well you live in the capitol I guess, so maybe you could show us around, if we would be there.“, Phil said and I wasn’t sure if he just said it out of politeness or because he really meant it, but either way I said I would.

We arrived at the restaurant, and the time flew by, we had endless stuff to talk about, we talked about my university stuff, and Dan cringed when he heard, that I studied law, they both told me anecdotes form their university time. We talked about how their England tour went, and about Dil, it was awesome, I never had laughed more in my life. „Don’t you have a radio show live after tomorrow?“, I asked and they nodded and told me, that they still didn’t know all songs they wanted to play on the radio show. „Do you have a request?“ Dan asked out of the blew, and even Phil looked slightly shocked. „Well I have one, but you never would play it.“, I said, because it was a song that reminded me of Dan, though, it was form Taylor Swift. „Oh come on tell me.“, Dan begged and I started to feel embarrassed „Fine, Wildest Dreams, from Taylor Swift?“ and to make me feel even more embarrassed, Phil added „Wait isn’t that the song, all the Phangirl associate with you?“ I turned bright red. „Ok, we will play it, will be funny to look at our tag after the radio show.“, Dan said and winked at me. 

When we finished our meal, it again was really late, and I was really far away from my hotel. „I think, I should get going, I guess, I take a cab to the Hotel.“, I said while I searched for my pursue to pay. „We got it.“, Phil said, and he and Dan payed for me. „Thank you, you too are real gentlemen.“, and I actually made them blush. „I just go to the restroom and then we can get going.“  
After I returned, they looked like they had something to say. „What did I miss?“ „Well we thought about maybe… and because it’s late.. and…“, Dan mumble and I didn’t understand anything. „Sorry Dan, can you say it again, you kinda mumble the whole sentence?“, I said feeling bad.

Instead of Dan Phil answered „What Dans wanted to say is, that our flat isn't really far away and you could stay over, we have a spare bed in the office that you know from our videos, and we bring you back to the hotel first thing in the morning, it is just too late for you even taking a cab through half London.“ Phil winked at me and i looked at them „Ok, but you do know i will fangirl over your flat, your chairs, your flowers, your office, like over everything? I mean i would try to keep it down, but still it would be me looking at everything with shiny eyes.“ „So is it a yes?“, Dan happily asked and i nodded slowly. This was insane, I only knew them for 2 days, and I mean in real life. But still, I wasn’t afraid or something, they were Dan and Phil, the nicest guys on earth, it was just really a weird situation.

I ended up at Dan and Phil’s apartment it was huge and looked so much different than in their videos, I literally staid in the lounge and looked at everything twice and Dan watched at me form the door frame with a smile. „This is still my favourite pic of you, the dog selfie, I had a dog once, which died some years ago, and this made me so happy looking at it.“ I said to Dan and he looked touched, then I asked Dan if i could see his room and he said, if i don’t mind the mess I can go look at it. I literally stormed out of the room and ran into his room, and it wasn’t this messy and I glared at the piano and was so sad it was so late. „Do you play.“ Dan asked and I nodded „Well you can play tomorrow, I would love to hear that“ „But only if you play something too“ Dan started cringing and I laughed because he looked so funny. „Dan can you come here for a sec“ Phil yelled form somewhere, Dan quickly went in this direction and i just kept exploring his room. 

When he came back he really looked amused „Whats the matter“ i asked, „Well actually Phil tried to lift um a box on his own, and well long story short, I helped him before he could injure himself.“ he responded. „Typical Phil, well you two are just… Dan and Phil.“, I said in this and he smiled, but his facial expression turned into a worrying one „You look exhausted maybe we should set up the bed, I just need to search for the sheets and bedding, just make yourself a home in my room while I fight with the blanket and stuff.“ I just sat on his Bed and inhaled the room it was really a dan room everything symmetric and dark, I stared at his books, when I heard someone falling and someone wincing, I ran to the stairs seeing Dan trapped in bedding „Oh god are you alright, come let me help you, wheres Phil, maybe he could help me to free you“ „I think he is in the bathroom, aaah this hurts.“, Dan said and I heard Phil shouting out of the bathroom, if everything was ok. „I think it will only be a bruise.“ I yelled, so he could hear me and added toward Dan: „come on, let us do the bedding together, I am afraid you will kill yourself if I don't help“

We really putted the bedding on quickly, Dan looked really proud that we did it so fast. „How about we change in PJs and watch a movie up here, I know it’s hard to sleep somewhere different, so maybe it will help, when we just watch something so you get really tired?“ „That’s really thoughtful of you, but please no horror movie, i will freak out in this room just because you guys always play the spooky stuff here. So something cool like avengers or fast & furious, or frozen, really it doesn't matter, just please no horror“ Dan looked at me with a smile and agreed. Because i had no Pjs i decided to stay in my own clothes, when Dan came back up he had his dinosaur onesie for me. „Well I think it’s better than your street clothes, I mean it always was too short for me, but it should fit you.“ He left me for some minutes and came back with some movies, he caught me laughing at myself when I looked down at myself „Whats so funny“ „Well now i am a real DANOSAUR, I didn't know you even possessed PJs? Because you sleep in your underwear?“ „Thats true but I like to be at home in my PJs, its better than my skinny jeans, more comfy, are you checking out my ass?“ „Maybe“ I laughed, I carefully sat down on the bed, Dan putted the DVD in and we watched how to train your Dragon 2, it was nice but at some point I fell asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Sunday

When I woke up I still was sitting but my head leaned against Dan's shoulder and he too was siting but still asleep, I felt so sorry for him, I knew, he would never wake me up, because he would want me to sleep, I felt terrible because he couldn't have slept in his bed. 

I heard someone, well Phil, open the door and looked at us, with a smile „Hey Dan wake up, I think Phil gets the wrong impression?“, I said loudly, Dan slowly opened his eyes and looked at me and than at Phil. „Its not what it looks like.“, he said guiltily and I started laughing because this was so Dan „Don’t worry Dan it just looks like she fell asleep on you and you were too nice to move, haha, come on guys let us have breakfast together, would be something different with you here“ said Phil and smiled at me than left. „I shouldn't stay for breakfast, I really should go, I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness.“ „Thats bullshit, Phil won’t let you out of the house, if you don’t eat something.“ and before I could protest Dan took my hand and went with me to the bathroom, when I saw my reflection I laughed, I was standing there in a Dinosaur PJ and Dan Howell was still holding my Hand, somehow I blushed, I literally slept on DANISNOTONFIRE’S shoulder for a night, my fangirl crush started really to turn into a real one. Dan handed me a spare toothbrush and we brushed our teeth before going to Phil, which turned into a massive toothpaste war, so we need extra 10 minutes to clean our faces.

Dan left me and Phil alone for some minutes because the doorbell rang. „So what exactly happened last night?“ he asked smiling, I loved Phil so much, he really wasn't cheeky or mean, he just was curious in this Phil-kind of way. „Nothing really, we just watched a movie, because Dan thought it would help to sleep somewhere new, and I was really tired, so at some point I fall asleep on him, still not know how I ended up this near to him but yes thats it, I swear nothing happened.“ and somehow the way I said it, sounded really disappointing „Oh you like him, don’t you? I mean you like Dan Howell, not danisnotonfire, oh you’re blushing you really do like him.“ „Just don’t tell him ok, I mean less then a week I will fly back and this whole thing will only be a memory, the chances to meet you again aren’t high, and I am only a fan nothing more. And that’s insane I mean I know him for only 2 days, well ok, I know more of him, but he doesn't know me, how can he even like me“ „Well he gave you his dinosaur onesie, I do think he likes you, we like you, look at you, you are at our flat, and there must be something about you, that let us bring you here, because you are right, you are a stranger, but to be honest, so we are to you, just don’t think about it so much, we just happened to meet someone, who is as nerdy as we are, and we didn’t wanted you to be murdered or something. So don’t worry, about having a crush on him, we all know he is cute and has these puppy eyes“ I nearly chocked on my cereal because it sounded so Phan, and speaking of the devil, Dan came back and we continued with our breakfast together.

I changed back in my street wear ready to go and searched for my shopping bags, which i found in the lounge. „Hey could you just say to me which tubes I need to take to get back to my hotel?“, I asked them looking confused at my map. „Dan will bring you back, we cant risk you getting lost in London.“ „Hey thats not fair you two often got lost in London and you are living here!“ I snapped a bit and they just smiled „Yes but it's better to get lost together, so just take my offer.“ Dan said and looked at me, I still couldn't believe this brown eyes looked at me… „But really what about fangirls, if they see us together this would start a shitstorm, they would think we are a couple or something.“ I said to him and he looked a bit offended „Would it be this bad, to be my girlfriend.“ „No Dan, thats not what I meant, and you know this, but I am not your girlfriend and I don’t want to be responsible for you being harassed because of me, or me being harassed because I was standing next to you, didn’t you forgot what happened to your brother?“ and the moment I said this i regretted it, Dan looked really hurt and I felt so guilty and looked at phil who was shocked. „Oh my… Dan i am sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I think, I should go, thank you for your kindness and the awesome last days, i am really looking forward to Radio show tomorrow, and if you come to Europe we will see each other again on your tour“, Dan still looked at the floor, I went up to Phil and hugged him goodbye, I wanted to hug Dan but he still was frozen so, I gave him a kiss on his cheek and went to the door.

I closed the door and went down the road trying to find the way to the Tube when i heard someone behind me, I turned around and Dan was standing in front of me. I wanted to say something but Dan just started to talk „I know maybe someone will see us, but i would be really scared you getting lost somewhere, so lets take you to your stay and hope nobody will see us. And you are going in the wrong direction“ , he said and took my hand, so i wouldn't lose him in the crowd, he also took some of my bags.

We were almost there and happy no one saw us, but two streets before the hotel, a girl came running for Dan and she saw me and him holding hands, I quickly dropped his hand and looked at the ground. Dan greeted the girl took a picture with her, she was maybe 15 and looked like her dreams came true, i understood her, 2 days ago I wouldn't even dare to dream meeting Dan. And then the girl asked him „Is she your girlfriend?“, I turned bright red and I saw Dan whispering something in her ear, left her giggling. She smiled at me and then went on. I looked confused at Dan but he just smiled and we walked towards to the hotel. We went to my room and I opened the door, it was tiny but fine. My chest felt heavy because I knew Dan would be going for real this time and i never would see him again. 

„So how about you come with us after tomorrow, so you can see the BBC building from the inside?“ he asked and my heart made a jump „Really?“, I said and his face light up „But wouldn’t the Fans think something, when we leave the building together?" I asked insecurely and he smiled „Well according too twitter you are my girlfriend, so i guess you aren’t a fan anymore.“ „Wait what, what do you mean? Dan give me your phone!!!“, I panicked and Dan gave me his mobile so I could go on twitter and tumblr, and he was right someone saw me and Dan holding hands and took a picture, the Phandom flipped already. „Oh my god… so i am the girlfriend of Dan Howell, knowing him 3 days great… I am so sorry Dan.“ I wanted to cry, but Dan laughed „Don’t bother, that are rumours, that’s the bad side of being a Youtuber, it will cool off, and you are leaving in 7 days, it's not like they can bother you on Austria this much, so don’t worry ok? Let’s just have a nice week?“ „Wait you want to see me again after tomorrow?“, I really thought my ears tricked me. „You still don’t really get the fact, that we like you, you’re nice and funny and nerdy?“, he said and I just froze. „Thanks? Somehow it’s really sad I can’t write about it on tumblr, because I have a fake name on it.“, I said smiling. „I am a bit afraid someone will find out, just imagine me being on tumblr as the mystery girl, oh dear…“ „Just don’t worry ok? So what will you do today?“ „Well I wanted to go to a Phandom meet up, but I think I won’t go, they would recognize me, and I don’t want to be hated because you like me , so I guess I will just take a day off at the Hotel?“, I said and looked at him standing in my small hotelroom, it was weird, and so unbelievable. He looked like he wanted to ask me something, so I waited but he remained silent. „Dan is there something you want to say?“ „aaaa… i thought… when you like…. or…?“, he mumbled „Dan for gods sake, I really love your flaws, but when you ask me something, you need to speak up, if you want a proper answer. Sorry this sounded a bit harsh, just say it slowly.“, I responded and he looked sad. „Would you like to go out with me today?“ „Wait, you mean like a date?“ „Yes?“ „But I am a fan? It’s a really bad idea to date fans.“ I said and he responded „It’s ok with me, and come on you want to go out with me, I mean yes I am socially awkward, but even I notice when someone blushes because of me , I know you want to, so just say yes it’s only a date.“ „Ok but what do you have in mind, I at least need to know what to wear?“ „I bet you look cute in everything, but haven’t you told me something about a red dress with red chucks?“ I nodded and felt quite numb, Dan he really remembered me telling him. „So I’ll pick you up at 6?“ I nodded again, because my mouth just was not functioning.

I sat on the bed for 10 minutes in shock, then i looked at my phone and saw, that Dan has already written me a short message. „Looking forward to see you “

 

I felt really strange in my new sleeveless red dress and my chucks I didn't really bring make up with me because I didn’t think i would meet some in London. I heard a knock on my door and opened up, Dan looked awesome, well he actually looked always that way, but somehow he looked more stunning. „You look great, lets go“ he said enthusiastic. He didn’t tell me what our main thing would be, but at least he told me we would start with dinner.

We went to another asian restaurant which was more expensive than his favourite one. Opposite my fear we would just silently eat, we talked and talked and talked and it was the best date I have ever been on. „Can i ask you something“ I said, „Sure“ „Why aren’t you looking at your phone?“ „What do you mean?“ „Well in like literally every vlog you always look on your phone, there isn’t a time where you don’t, except special occasions like meet ups and stuff.“ „Well you are a special occasion.“, he smiled.

After we finished our dinner, Dan still didn’t tell me, where we were going. „Oh come on just tell me please?“ „Don’t want to spoil the surprise.“, he smiled and helped me to get in the cab, which would bring us to the mystery destination. 

Dan said I should close my eyes, I was a bit afraid but i did what he told me to do, and putted his arm around my waste so I wouldn't hit something. We went for some minutes and I heard the Thames and felt the wind, so I knew we where near water. I still wasn’t aloud to open my eyes, but I felt a shiver through my body. „Oh you will freeze to death, wait I give you my jacket, don’t open your eyes ok?“ „You don’t have to give me your jacket it’s fine.“, but he didn’t listen, he just putted on his Jacket on me. „Ok now you can open your eyes.“, he said after he turned me in a specific direction. „The millennium bridge?“, I asked happily knowing the answer. „Well because you like Harry Potter, I thought I bring you to the Millennium bridge, but it’s only a part of the surprise.“, he said and took my Hand and we went to the middle of the Bridge. When we reached the middle, we just stared at the beautiful sight of London, and I more and more fell in love with the city, well not only the city.

„I’m sorry you need to close your eyes once more, ok?“, he asked and I just closed my eyes. I felt him putting something on my neck. I didn’t open my eyes, but I felt the mental around my neck, I knew what it was, even without seeing it, it was the Hermoine necklace, which perfectly fitted my dress. „Do you like it.“, he whispered in my ear, I opened my eyes and turned around. „You shouldn’t have, wait when did you even bought it,… it was Phil wasn’t it, when you said he forgot to buy something.“, I said and he smiled guiltily. And as a thank you, I went on tip toes and kissed his cheek and hugged him. „Best date ever.“, I said while being wrapped by his arms. 

On the way back to the hotel I sat by his side, we didn’t talk much, overwhelmed by the memories we made on the bridge, Dan played with my hand the whole drive, and I just looked at his hand doing it. He didn’t try to kiss me on the bridge and though I really wished he did, I knew we have known each other to briefly at this point to make this step, but I really enjoyed the date to the fullest, and couldn't wait to go with him and Phil to the BBC tomorrow. 

Of course Dan paid the driver and accompanied me to my room, before I went in I looked at Dan and said „So because I will see you tomorrow, I won’t get my picture today again right?“ „Maybe you just should memorize the moments we already had, instead of waiting to get a pictures, which will only be a glimpse of everything that has and will happen between us. You know the best things that happened to me, have one thing in common, I don’t have any pictures of those particular moments. Because I just lived them, good night.“, he said and turned to go. „Wait, I forgot to thank you for this nice evening and the necklace and that you borrowed me your jacket… So thank you, this was the best date of my life, nobody actually ever did something so nice for me, nobody ever cared about my nerdy interests anyway. Thank you for being as nerdy as I am.“, I said and I felt that my face turned red again. He turned back to me and looked at me with his brown eyes, I swear to god they will be the end of me someday. „You look cute when you blush, and I am happy, I made you smile. I really need to go know, need to edit a video tonight.“, he said still smiling. „Wait you need your Jacket“, I said and attempted to get out off it but Dan just hugged me and whispered in my ear „You can give it back to me tomorrow, good night sleep well.“, he said kissed my cheek and went off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a special chapter dedicated to my friend mary joy, it's her birthday today :D happy birthday little one <3

Monday

I opened my eyes and for a second I didn’t really know where I was, because I had dreamt that I was on a date with Dan Howell, but when I looked at little table in the room, and spotted the Hermoine necklace he gave to me, I realised it really happened, and that I would see Dan and Phil today, because they promised me, that they would show me the building. 

This whole trip was a miracle, and at this point, I decided to Skype with Ella to tell her, that I had gone out with Dan and that he had given me the necklace. When I told her everything she squeaked happily, she was so excited that at some point I just said „Hey don’t start the preparations for our wedding just yet, we only went out once, we haven’t kissed yet, so just calm down, haha.“ „Well it will happen in the next days, but still just be careful, don’t forget you will be home soon and it will be over.“, she said and I just sighed it wasn't really a new thought, I just tried hard not to think of it.

I spent my day reading the Manga I had bought with Dan and Phil, through the day I got various texts from Dan, one saying that he had to go to a google meeting and Phil would pick me up and show me the BBC building, I wasn't disappointed, I loved Phil he still was my sunshine, he was great and I didn’t need to hide that I was hopelessly crushing on Dan around him. Well I knew Dan knew, but it was just nice not having 100 heart attacks while talking with Phil.

Around 6pm Phil texted me, that he was in-front of the Hotel, it was quite early, because the radio show started at 9 pm, but I didn’t give it a second thought. Before I grabbed my Bag and my coat, I had putted Dan’s jacket in my bag shortly before Phil had texted, and run down the hotel stairs. 

„Hi Phil, how are you?“, I asked and smiled at him, he smiled back and responded „I’m great, just a bit tired, was up all night filming.“ „Don’t overdue yourself.“, I added and he laughed „Don’t worry it’s ok, so I thought we can go eat something before we head to the BBC?“ „Sounds great, what do you have in mind?“ „Italian?“ he said and I smiled. „So what have you been up to?“, he asked, while we where heading to the italian restaurant. 

„Not much actually, skyped with my friend, told her about yesterday, and read all the manga we had bought 2 days ago. And texted with Dan a bit, so I was just lazy in my Pjs.“, I said and Phil smiled knowingly „He was quite happy, when he came back last night, I hope you like your necklace.“ He winked at me and I started laughing „Thank you for buying it.“ „ You look kinda sad talking about yesterday, you smile, but it doesn't quite reach your eyes?“, he mentioned and I looked down. „It’s just strange you know, it will be over soon and all of this will just be a memory, and somehow I just want to end it before it hurts but honestly, it already hurts just thinking about it.“, I mumbled, but I was sure Phil understood what I said. 

So he simply changed the topic „So you’re song will be playing, we thought we would do retro song episode today, because the song is one year old. But we actually did a Facebook ask, so the fans could submit their choices, and naturally we had song request like toxic and thinking out loud, you guys will never forget.“ He laughed and I smiled, „Please interrupt Dan, if he intends to say, that wildest dreams was a request from some special, because they would think it was your request, and you know us, thats possible.“ „Don’t worry, I will stop him, though he really likes you. Never saw him so happy, I mean he is always happy, but now he is like a little sun, always shining like he is thinking of something, that makes him happy.“, Phil said and looked at my reaction and I just smiled, I knew it wouldn’t last, but I just enjoyed the fact, that I could make someone happy. „I never made someone happy, not in that way, for most people I am just a really exhausting and annoying person. And I am so socially awkward, I mostly run away form groups of people, because I feel so uncomfortable, though knowing the people won’t do anything.“ „You just sound like him, when I met him for the first time, back in 2009, everyone will make someone happy, like a puppy or a kitten.“, Phil responded and I tried to smile.

We ate really fast, and headed to the BBC, Phil showed me all the stuff I saw in the vlogs of other youtubers, I was still overwhelming to see it with my own eyes. After he showed me everything he was allowed to he guided me to the studio were they would make the show. Dan still wasn’t there and I slightly began to worry about him. „Phil do you think something happened to Dan?“, I asked concerned. „No don’t worry he will be on time as always, he texted me, that he forgot something when he was on the way to us, and he needed to go back again, he should be here in a couple of minutes.“

Quarter to nine Phil needed to send me out because, there wasn't a place where I could be inside, he said I should just wait for Dan, he would show me where I could watch the show. I felt scared staying alone outside the studios, and really lost. Dan came to my rescue shortly after I started to panic. „Hey sorry I didn’t came earlier, I just thought you would need a Laptop to watch us, because there isn't really a place where you could watch us without a laptop. And for because I am late I bought some flowers on the way here.“, he said and until he mentioned the Items I hadn't noticed them, because I was too glad not to be standing alone in the hallway with strangers.

His Laptop was in one Hand and in the other Hand was a bouquet of white roses. „So actually you were able to say that the roses where for someone, not yourself? Thank you so much, and are you sure you want to give me your laptop, I am still a fan.“ „ Yes I could, I think it even was the same woman I bought the flowers some years ago.“ he said, but didn't mention anything about his Laptop.

I took the flowers out of his Arm and he leaded me to a little lounge were a coffeemashine was and some sofas. He placed his Laptop on the little table in front of the sofa and turned the laptop on. „And yeah I am not afraid, and I deleted my search history, so you won’t find anything, and I know you are a too nice person to snoop around. Ok I really need to hurry.“, he said turn down and kissed me briefly on the lips, I froze, but he was in such a hurry to realize what he just did. 

I looked at the laptop which was already set up for the radio-live-show, Dan and Phil weren’t online just yet, but the last video of Dan was showing with a song over the real audio. After the song stopped Dan and Phil talked about things that happened last month, such as the convention and how awesome it was too meet their fans. „This was a request from azusasong, wildest dreams from Taylor Swift.“, Dan said and I swallowed, did I really already told him my twitter name, I couldn't remember.  
After the Song started Dan and Phil started drawing on their white board, Dan did something weird, he leaned to Phil and whispered something in the ear and from lipreading I thought to see Phil saying, „Finally.“, could Dan just have realized that he kissed me?

I watched Phil writing on the white board and turning it, I almost choked on my split when I read it. „This song sounds like it’s about Dan, or about a really bad cat“ and underneath there was a drawing of a cat fused with Dan, it looked really good if I compared it to this one drawing, Phil did of him on Phil is not on fire. The rest of the shows was quite normal at least there weren't any suspicious mentioned, I knew I was paranoid, but I was also a part of the Phandom so, I had reasons to be. 

So I listened to the last song, and heard someone coming in, I looked up and saw Dan without Phil. „Where’s Phil.“, I asked while turning off Dans Mac-book. „I asked him to go to meet the fans, and I would join later. I am sorry.“, he said shyly and looked down. „Did I miss something, what are you apologising for?“, I looked at him trying to figure out what he meant. „I kissed you?“, he said and I started laughing and Dan looked like he wanted to die of embarrassment. „So are such a dork, I am so sorry for laughing Dan. You know, I asked myself why you didn’t kiss me on the bridge, I am not mad, I just was really shocked in best way possible, it’s just …you…i mean…we dont know each other, not really and I will be gone soon. I just don't want you to regret something. And to make it clear, I wished this kiss had lasted longer.“ and though I was really shy, I stood up and went on my tip toes and looked him in the eyes. At this point it was his decision, and I wanted to know, whether he would go for it, or not. I closed my eyes, but I felt him stepping away from me.

„I..“, he started to explain but I interrupted him. „No, I get it, you regret it right, I guess you just like me as a friend.“, I passed him and ran to the exit. Nobody was their and I knew Dan was on the way to his fans, when I stepped out of the building I started crying. „Dumb girl, how could you even think he would like you this way, it was just a mistake of his.“ I whispered to myself crying, and called a cab.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one, I hope it makes up for my last chapter :D
> 
> (sorry for any grammar and spelling mistakes)

Monday night / Tuesday

Some meters before arriving at the hotel I realised, that I haven't given Dan his jacket. Shaky I texted Phil, that I would like to meet up with him because of the Jacket, I didn’t want to read his answer until the next day, so before shutting down my phone, I texted my dad that I would go to bed , and wished him a nice conference for the next day.

When I finally arrived at the hotel room, I started to realise what actually happened at the BBC. I couldn't believe I really had tried to kiss Dan, well he kissed me first… This was so confusing… I tried to calm down, because I knew I wouldn't been able to sleep just yet, so I decided to check my emails. There weren't many, some from my university, reminding me, that I would be handing back soon. 

About 2pm I decided to go to bed, trying not to feel embarrassed that I really tried to kiss someone knowing the person only five days. 

Waking up the next day, I turned my phone on, and received the answer from Phil. „Are you sure, you don’t want to give it to him yourself?“ I texted back, that I am just too hurt and too embarrassed to look him in the eye. So Phil just let the topic go and asked me where I would be today, I told him that I wanted to go to the British museum and after it in a bookshop I discovered a couple of years ago. So Phil and I decided to meet up at Costa, though he loved Starbucks, he didn’t mind, that I wanted to go to Costa, somehow it was a tradition, whenever I went to London, I didn’t want to break it. We decided to meet up around 6pm, so I would have enough time to see everything in the museum, but because I couldn't sleep good that night, it was almost 1 pm when I woke up, and I would take 45 minutes to get to the museum.

I got up and went to the bathroom, I looked terrible, I had dark circles under my eyes, my hair looked like I had had an electric shock and upon that, I looked like I cried in my sleep. I started to brush my teeth and combed my hair, but I still looked horribly wrong, I braided my hair, because the combing didn't help much. In the end I picked out a white dress, with a light pink cardigan, so I wouldn't be to cold in the evening. I packed my bag, even found some space to put Dans jacket in there, I really love that bag. Before leaving I checked the weather on my phone, my outfit fitted the circumstances, it would be a sunny warm day. 

Finally ready, with sunglasses on, I left my Hotel room, so happy living near a tube station. Flouncing out of the Hotel, trying to be excited for my trip to the museum. But the events with Dan overshadowed my excitement, it was really hard not to think about it, especially because I was afraid of the reason why he didn’t kiss me. Maybe the sad thing was, that he had kissed me, it was only briefly, but still he kissed me first, and I hated the thought, that couldn't really remember it, because it happened so fast. Tears came up, but I just blinked them away, I shouldn't cry over a boy I knew for 6 Days. I felt so stupid, I never felt in love so fast, but here I was, in love with an internet celebrity. Yeah this sounded really silly.

It was even harder not to think about Dan in the tube, because of all the videos he made in the tube, all the Life of Dan and Phil videos. I was so annoyed with my thoughts, that I took out my iPod and started to listen to my music. Fall out boy’s album „american beauty/psycho“ was still my favourite. It didn't really help not to think about Dan, but it was good music.

I couldn't enjoy the artefacts in the museum, so I just texted Phil and asked him, if it was possible, to meet earlier. He said he would be at there in one hour, so in the meantime I went to the little bookshop I had found some years ago. I really was crazy enough to buy 4 books in one hour, and because of that I was running late. I sprinted to the Costa like an athlete, I knew my lungs would hate me afterwards. Phil already was siting with a drink, I ordered quickly mine and took place next to him. „Would you explain to me what happened yesterday? He is pacing up and down his room, but he doesn't tell me anything. He said he made a mistake last night? Just tell me, I am worried.“ and he looked like a wounded puppy. „He kissed me, not like a real kiss, the kind of briefly kiss you give your girlfriend when you are in a rush. And after the show he apologised and I said there was no need for it, so I leaned in to kiss him, well half way and waited for him to close the distance, but he stepped back. And I was hurt, but know I just feel stupid for even thinking he would kiss me again. But why kiss me in the first place, it was just weird, but I got upset and ran away, and he didn’t follow me because of your fans, what is totally understandable. I just wished he did, but it’s my fault too, I ran as always. And since than there was no call nor text. So yeah that what’s happened.“ I started tearing up and Phil leaned over to hug me. 

„You two are … I mean you two would be the worst couple ever, a girl who rans away, and a guy who overthinks running after, because he is so afraid to make things worse. But really Dan Howell, the boy who never make a step without overthinking it 100 times, just kissed you? He really must have a crush on you, just think about it, he would never do things like this.“, he said. „Should I feel guilty because he kissed me.“, I asked. „No, you should feel honoured that he trusts you this much, that he actually didn't overthink kissing you, even if it only happened subconsciously. He likes you, Maria. And don't worry he will call or make a big gesture or something, depends on how desperate he is. Joke, don't worry he will do something, because time is running low for you two.“, he said and smiled, I knew he just tried to cheer me up, but I felt tears again and this time, I couldn't hold them back. Phil moved next to me, hugged me and patted my head, Phil was like a big brother in this moment.

While hugging Phil started to talk „I wanted to show you something, you do know that the BBC Radio 1 twitter person loves Dan and me… well her name is Sarah and she saw Dan and you when he handed you over the roses,“ „Oh no I forgot the roses, sorry, go on I just really love flowers.“ „No problem, well she took a picture, while he gave you the roses and his Laptop. The picture is really sweet.“ he ended and I looked at him and saw a smile. „Will you show me?“, I asked. „Well not today, but I promise you will get it.“ 

The rest of the time we spent talking about stuff we liked, and Phil asked me how his german sounded, it sounded terrible. We talked about the book which came out last year, and about the possibility of a second one. It was really nice and nobody of the Fans saw us. Phil brought me back to the Hotel, I wished him a nice evening and when I finally came back to my hotel room it was time for Dans live show.

He started as always and talked for awhile about different things, but at some point the chat filled with questions about the mysterious girl that he was holding hands with, thereupon he went silent for a minute and than came something really unexpected:

„Guys I need to do something and I need to do it on Younow, don't be afraid I explain, I met this awesome girl and she is sweet and kind, and somehow like me and somehow a bit like Phil, well I really hurt this girl, and I knew, it would take something crazy to make her listen, but because I know she is watching right know, and I knew a text would never be enough, and I think she would have ignore it anyway. I am really sorry what happened, I know you are listening. I just felt like you were already mine, so I did what I did, not really thinking because for me it was already a thing. But after it I thought, that it wouldn't be a good idea to do this again, because it would hurt so much, because it hurts already so much, without you being mine. I am so sorry, just give me a second chance, isn't it sad I am already needing a second chance after 6 days. Well typical me.“ I just froze in-front my laptop, I couldn't believe he had done this, he actually made us, whatever we were, public. I muted Younow and looked at the comments, and somehow mostly where dedicated to me, to please call him, because they didn’t wanted to see him sad. 

And somehow I just called him, well more the Phangirl part, because I didn’t want to see Danisnotonfire sad. But my normal part just freaked out, my eyes were locked to the screen as I heard the ring, he instantly picked up. „Don’t turn off Younow, let them see that I called, let them see a bit of your personal life.“, I said and I sounded more confident than I felt. „You actually did it?“, he said breathless. „Well I guess this is your second chance?“, I sounded so unsure, but continued „So what will we do, I only have 4 days left.“ „We will come up with something.“, he said and smiled on the screen. „We’re all stories in the end, just make it a good one, eh,“, I said quietly and hoped he didn't understand it. „Really you are quoting Doctor who?“, he laughed. „Do you prefer sherlock more?“, I responded „I am curious which quote you will take.“ he said cheekily. „Ok…It’s a direct answer to your speech earlier.“I said and looked at the screen and he looked so tense. „What the hell am I supposed to say to that. Good night Daniel James Howell, you silly boy“, I said and ended the talk, I saw him smiling. He looked at the screen and asked the Phandom which scene my both quotes came from. As always he got a million right answers, but the Phandom flipped some people even told him to marry me. „Guys I need to go, new Danisnotonfire video will be up next week, but still no promises.“

I turned down my computer, and laid down on my bed, I couldn't believe he really did this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi new chapter, so everyone who can't got to vidcon, maybe this will be a little piece of console :D
> 
> Azusa ;)

Tuesday night/ Wednesday

Stepping out of the shower, still couldn't believe, he really had done this, but well I guess we were officially a thing now, at least for the next 4 days. I lay down and before turning off the light I saw Dan calling. „Mr Howell, how dare you to call me at such late hour.“, I said ironically and heard his giggling. „Sorry, just wanted to hear your voice, why did you actually called during the live show, why not afterwards?“ „I just thought your fans would be happy to see something more personal, than you obsessing over Kayne, and they still don't know my Blog name so I am save. Have you seen something on Tumblr?“ I asked. „Well haters gonna hate as always, but the most are making sweet photo puzzles with our faces, and the Phan shippers are a bit sad, but in a nutshell it was a quite good response.“ he said relieved. „So will we talk about us, because I am still leaving in 4 days?“ „Yes but not now. How about we go to the 221b door from Sherlock set? We can take some pictures?“ „Really that would be great.“ I said smiling. „I think we should go to bed, I’ll pick you up around noon, so we can sleep and have breakfast. Good Night, Maria“ „Good night Dan, and good night Phil.“ I said it as loud as possible, and heard a response in the background. „How did you know?“, Dan asked. „He is you best friend, I guess he stormed in your room the moment you ended the live-show, go to bed Dan, and if Phil want’s to join us he can come.“ „No thanks, I need to edit stuff, the silence will be helpful.“ I heard in the background. „haha ok, so I go now, good night guys.“

Next day I dressed in some jeans and I colourful t-shirt and went outside where Dan was waiting. „Oh the famous moth t-shirt, breaking your aesthetic because of the sun.“, I laughed and he smirked, somehow it was still awkward because of the kiss, and I knew I would just be more distant because of it, Dan noticed my distance and just embraced me. He still gave the best hugs, I just looked in his eyes, and started to laugh. „What is it, he asked.“ „It’s just every time, I saw how you looked at Phil, I always was like, I wished someone would look at me this way, I mean so happy that I am his friend. And now you do it, and it is a bit intense, and not really this romantic, haha“, I said and smiled and he responded. „Maybe you and Phil should make a video, the real effect of Heart-eyes-Howell. No not maybe, I actually will ask Phil if he wants to do it. So lets get going.“ he grabbed my hand and we headed to 221b.

It was so normal just walking through London with him, it really felt like a relationship. Every time I saw something pretty Dan told me stories about the things or what he did around this area, and always pointed out places he liked. It was nice, and I hoped someday he would be in my home town and I would be able to show him my favourite places. 

We took the tube and we talked about the time he fell up an escalator, and he showed me the almost faded scar. I told him how I once fell out of a bus and how often I ran into something, he jokingly said, we were meant for each other and I didn't say anything against it and just went on looking around.

I loved London so much and hoped to be an international Judge one day, or maybe work for google as an adviser in the law department, it actually was my plan, because I wanted to meet Dan that way, and now I could actually make another plan when I would be done with my law degree. „So what are you studying?“, Dan asked int the exact moment. „Law.“, I said and saw him cringing, and I lost it and started laughing so hard. „Sorry, but its funny, you dropped out and now this crazy girl you like, will get a law degree in some years.“ „Liked I said we are meant to be.“, he said and I responded. „I only believe it, if a hardcore Phanshipper will say this, and no Dan you don’t count as a Phanshipper.“ I said and he looked at me with puppy eyes. 

And so the trip went on with us being sarcastic and talking about ourselves, and somehow I had the feeling I knew him for years. 

Finally we arrived at the 221b door and I started fangirling, and Dan just smiled at me while I was freaking about this door, and than he grabbed my arm and pulled me softly near to him so Dan could take a Picture in-front of the door. After the picture I recognised that some teens where looking at us, and I froze, Dan realised and looked at them and winked. „You can go and do Danisnotonfire stuff.“, I said. „Well I could, but this would mean I need to let go of your hand.“, he said Dan I smiled. „But I know the solution.“, he said and pulled me with him. 

„Could be take a picture with you?“, said some girl younger than me and I letted go of his hand, after he took all the pictures, he immediately grabbed my hand again. „You look so cute together, don’t hurt her Dan, she seems nice and shy.“, another girl said and waved when they left us. „You really are, aren’t you?“, he said and I looked confused. „shy?“ he whispered. „Yes I am, but only in social situations, I am never shy at work, but remember the first evening where I froze and my friend had to talk for me, so yeah.“ „Cute, ok so lets go have something to eat and then I have another surprise for you.“

We went to an Italian restaurant because Dan was vegetarian again, so he could at least eat a pizza margarita and I was really sick of asian food because I was often with Ella and two times with Dan or Phil. Our dinner was more quiet, not really silent just more eating and less talking. Dan paid and I wanted to protest, but he just gave me this look and I stopped my intention to protest.

„So whats about the surprise you promised?“ I asked and looked at him, while we were heading to the tube station „Well the first part of this day, 221b was for you and me, not for the Phangirl, but there is something I would like to give your Phangirl side too, something every Phan would die for“, he said and laughed at my confused face. „Ok what is it?“ „Do you want to play scrabble with me and Phil?“, he asked and my face light up „Really, oh my god, I… wow … do book and manga characters count too?“, I asked excitedly „We’ll need to ask Phil but if Pokemon count, I think book and manga characters will count too.“

Finally arriving at the flat we started to play scrabble but after a while Dan and Phil started arguing over some stupid word and we stopped because I was afraid they would kill each other, well no, more something like a pillow fight, and because they were as clumsy as me, I could imagine that they would break something. I looked at the clock and it was too late to drive to the hotel, and when I mention the Time, Phil said „Don’t worry, I thought you would stay longer as planned, so the bed is set up.“ Phil watched at his phone and started laughing „Guys you didn’t accidentally posted a picture of you two talking near the 221b door?“ „No, why?“, Dan asked. „Well, I guess someone saw you today, and the fans are joking about that you look at her with heart eyes, the picture is cute, so should I put on the Picture of you giving her roses at the BBC“ Phil joked and we started laughing. „Maybe the day I leave, would look like a romantic gesture “ „I have a better Idea“, Phil said with shiny eyes and I just responded „You will be like Dan about Phan, the ultimate shipper, do you have a ship name for us already?“ at that point Dan started cry-laughing , and we continued the evening without mentioning me and Dan again.

The boys started to play Mario Kart and at first I played with along and I was quite good, even had beaten Dan a couple times, but I got tired and left the game to them and only watched, what was funny enough because of their bants.  
They were siting on the floor in front of me, so i cuddled a cushion and leaned back, at some point the banter became a nice background sound and i fell asleep.

I dreamt that Dan carried me to their office and putted me to bed, and me saying I wished he could stay. So I was really surprised when I woke up tangled up with Dan in their guest bed, we were both in our street clothes, so at least nothing happened (I wasn't really sure if i was happy or sad about it.) Again Phil came in looked at me and started laughing, and Dan woke up looking a bit surprised and guilty. „I must fell asleep, you told me to stay until you fall asleep, and I must have fall asleep too.“ he explained, I blushed and responded that I was sorry he didn’t sleep in his Bed, but instead of Dan, Phil opened the door and answered „Oh believe me he doesn't mind at all sleeping with you, I think it’s the first time in weeks you didn’t start to pace in the middle of the night.Well except the other night Maria had slept here“ I looked at Dan and noticed him blushing and mumbling something that sounded like shut up, and Phil left the room laughing.

„I do think we ended up in bed too quickly, we haven’t even really kissed yet.“ I said sarcastically to Dan and he started laughing, while we tried to get entangled. „Well, that’s true, the brief one at the radio station doesn’t count, so at least let us change this.“ he said when we were finally siting next to each other,and then he leaned in to kiss me. His lips felt so soft and nice on mine and it felt so naturally when he parted my lips with his tongue, I couldn't actually believe Dan Howell was really kissing me. At some point we heard a camera sound and separated both and looked up, Phil took a picture of us „Oops I thought it was on silent“, he said cheekily „Phil what are you a paparazzi?“ „Well someone needs to take a picture of the first kiss, we are you tubers we need to document everything“ „God Phil just post it already, so we can make it official and nobody asks me anymore what we are.“ Dan said and I looked shocked „You know I am leaving on Saturday.“ „Yeah about that, before you leave would you film a video with me today?“ „Ok?“


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :)  
> I am so sorry I couldn't upload much :(
> 
> I hope you like it
> 
> sorry for any mistakes, I always read through after I upload and try to correct the mistakes
> 
> enjoy the chapter 
> 
>  
> 
> \- Azusa

Wednesday

„But first I want to do a video with her.“, announced Phil and I laughed. „Could we have some breakfast first, because if you don't feed me I will become Hulk.“ Dan lift his eyebrows and Phil responded. „Sure I will make something, and you can change in something more comfy, maybe a danosour onesie?“, the moment he said it I blushed, and Dan threw a pillow at him but he was out of the room and the pillow flew into the door. „Well he is right, the onesie is more comfortable.“, I said and he just let out a noise of regret. 

After a short visit to the bath to get us ready, we both went into the kitchen Phil really made everything I could wish for, and I was really surprised because mostly they ate cereal, or at least they made me believe that.

„So about the video, do you have an idea how it should look like?“, I asked Phil while sipping on my hot chocolate. „Well I thought we just make a collab with Dan, and we just describe the way we feel when he looks at us this way, and you can defend yourself Dan. In your sassy way.“, Phil responded and Dan laughed, it sure would be really interesting to film this video. „You guys don’t have some make up for me.“ I asked sarcastically and Phil looked at me apologetic and responded seriously. „No sorry, and I think we gave away the stuff we used for the red nose video some years ago.“ „You don’t need make up anyway, you look great the way you are.“, Dan added and I smiled at him.

We decided to film in the office because there was enough space too fit everyone of us in shot. „Just think of it as a normal conversation where you sometimes look at the camera.“ Phil explained and without further introduction we just started. I bent down so I wasn't in shot and Dan was a bit father away so he could come in later.

Phil: „Hello guys, today I will talk about a phenomenon you guys noticed, and I thought I could make a video about it. THE HEART EYE HOWELL phenomenon, and because their is only one other person I know Dan stars at like he stars at me, I invited her. Say hi.  
Maria: „Hi“  
I said as sweet as I could, but Phil just helped me through my awkwardness.  
Phil: „This is Maria, some of you may have seen picture of her and Dan. Well I noticed that Dan looks at her the same way he looks at me. So to make this more interesting please welcome Danisnotonfire.“  
Dan: „Hi guys, this will be bad, please be nice to me.“  
Phil: „We will, don't worry. So lets just begin, everybody says always Dan stars at me with heart eyes, and I notice this, thought it isn't as nice as it seems, he stares at you with such an intensity that it feels weird.“  
Dan: „oh god I never knew you thought about it this way, I just thought I look at you normally, I mean I never believed the tumblr gifs, sorry guys.“  
Maria: „Well he is right, it is intense, though I didn't feel weird at all, just bit confused that you looked you strangely, I even asked Phil, and he confirmed that you just heart eyed me.“  
Phil: „so because Dan only ever saw heart eyes gifs of me, I have a really nice Picture of him staring at Maria.“  
He showed Dan the picture Sarah from BBC took when he gave me the roses, and he really looked at me this way, though I couldn’t remember how he looked at me because he was so rushed.  
We talked and argued more about the heart eye howell thing, at the end it just became a who is the most annoying person of us, but I wasn't sure if Phil would be able to make this mess a video.  
Phil: „SO lets compare, at whom Dan stares more intense, leave your comments. Til the next time, say bye.“  
Dan and Maria: „Byeeeee“

„I will start to edit this now, though I think it will be hard to make something out of this mess. But it was really funny.“, Phil said and we stood up, Phil went to the office, and Dan took my Hand and went to the kitchen. The time has passed fast and I felt a little bit hungry, while I was standing in the kitchen.

„Well we don’t have much stuff to eat except breakfast, how about we go out, do you know the restaurant „The Sherlock Holmes“?“, Dan asked after closing the fridge and I bet I looked like a happy puppy when he mentioned it. „Yes, I know it, I read about it on tumblr, never been there, but could we stop by the hotel before we go there, because I want to shower and change?“ „Sure lets get going.“

Dan made himself comfortable in my room, while I was showering and drying my hair I came out in my underwear, I wasn't really shy about my body, so I just walked in room only in my underwear, Dan noticed, although he looked away. „You can look at my body I am fine with it, I am not naked, don’t feel uncomfortable because I don't have the space to change in the bath room.“ I said while pulling a jumper over my head, but Dan still looked pointedly away. And because I wanted to mess with him a bit, I sat on his lap without my pants on. He nearly jumped but started to look at me, well he looked more at my lips, so I leaned in. The tender kiss turned quickly in an make out session, at some point we landed on my bed, my brain didn't function anymore, the only thing I knew was, that I didn't want Dan to stop, but in this exactly moment my stomach announced that it was hungry, and Dan started laughing. „How about we postpone this, go get your clothes.“ „Wait when did you take off my jumper?“, I asked realising I was only in underwear again. „well you probably will find out later, I’ll wait outside so I won’t distract you anymore.“ He winked and stood up, I wanted to protest, but my stomach growled again so I started to dress again.

„You were really fast“ he acknowledged with a smirk on his face after I left the room about 5 minutes later. I just rolled my eyes with a smile, went towards the exit and he followed me and took my hand. Why did this felt so right?

We didn’t appear to be the only ones, who wanted to eat at the Restaurant, and we luckily got a table, probably because a waitress recognised Dan. But when we took place at our table and I started to notice my surroundings, I felt like I was in a scene of Sherlock Holmes back in the 19th Century, I couldn’t be more happier. We ordered, of course Dan’s meal came first, and he intended to wait, but because he looked at his food like a sad puppy with heart eyes, I just literally begged him to eat. „Just eat, please, you staring at the food, like you stare at Phil.“, I said, which he added to: „And you.“ „What?“, I didn’t get it, though it was obvious what he meant. „You said, I stare at Phil like I stared at the food, but I stare at you the same way, I stare at him.“, I couldn't believe he pointed that out, he just should eat. „Right, now eat your food, so you can be a happy puppy again!“, I answered, and tried to stare at him the same way he stared at me. I failed because some seconds later he whispered „Is everything ok?“ „Well I guess I am not good at Heart-eyes, please just start eating, your food is getting cold, and I want to see the happy puppy.“ But before he could take his first bite, his phone rang.

„Phil just texted he made something out of the footage, I am really curious how he did it.“, Dan said and I laughed. „Do you think he ships us?“ „I think he is just being happy about us, maybe he is more afraid of you leaving than me.“, he responded. „why?“ „Well I guess I will be really sad without you, and the person to built me up will be him, and he knows it, tries not to think about it, so he just turns into a fanboy.“ „You know I can’t stay, and I really would love to stay, but I want to finish my law degree, I want to have my own future.“ „Hey its alright lets don't talk about this, and just enjoy the rest of the time you are here.“, he interrupted, took a bite and added: „The food is really delicious, see now I am a happy puppy again“ At this moment I had to smile, but then I realised, that on Saturday hearts would break, and I wasn't sure, who of us would be more miserable. But Dan was right, I needed to enjoy the last days with him.

After Lunch Dan apologised because he needed to edit a video, so he kissed me goodbye, and I went to the tube, which took me back to the Hotel. I was disappointed we couldn't start where we left off in the hotel room, but we knew each other only for a couple days we shouldn't cross the line, it would only hurt more in the end.

I took a long shower and then cuddled in my pjs and turned on the tv, I watched some repetitions of Sherlock and Doctor Who, it was great, I felt so home here, more than I ever felt back in Austria. In this moment the thought appeared that since I was in London I didn't miss anyone, but I knew this was because of Dan. On Saturday evening I would be glad to land in Austria. Too take my thoughts of the topic, I started to read a book. 

Suddenly my phone vibrated, I had a new notification form youtube, Dan had uploaded a new video.

The name was „An announcement“

„Hey guys, so I need to say something, I am in a relationship.“ at this sentence Phil pooped up next to Dan. „what the, PHIL ?“ „Sorry Dan just needed to do this.“ „Out, and no I am not in a relationship with him. So I met this girl and I really like her, she gave me a second chance, and she will be gone in some days, but I really like her, so yeah she is my girlfriend. So please don't harass her, and because everyone is always so eager to see a kiss picture, there is the picture of our first kiss, Phil so nicely took, when we were distracted. But I won’t show it to you guys just yet“ 

Somehow Dan just outed us, without really outing us, he didn’t really said it was me, but maybe he just wanted the world to know, he was happy, and I really was confused, but I wasn't mad, because he seemed so happy to say he had a girlfriend. And on Saturday the only thing we would feel, would be sadness. I started crying.

 

My Friend Ella called me after she saw the video I was so tired and sad but i picked up and she was really mad at me for not telling, because she wanted to be the first person to be informed. I told her I had no idea he was going to do this. On tumblr the Phandom flipped, at some point I forced myself to stop and called a friend Maicy to met up with her, because I couldn't look at tumblr anymore, we were twitter friends for years and skyped occasionally, we saw each other every time I was in london .

We went to Costa, she couldn’t believe what happened , but she just pointed out, that i had still 2 full days left with Dan and I blushed, and as always she started laughing. „Just don’t do something stupid, you know, your fairytale is over soon.“ „I know, but i don’t think he actually realizes it, and if he does, he must be as desperate as me, because he doesn't want to acknowledged that we will cry at some point.“ She hugged me and we kept on chatting.

On the way back I got a text form  
Dan: „Hey I hope this was alright, and I have a great idea for the next video, so if you want, we could film it tomorrow?“  
Maria: „It was fine, you looked so happy, and sure why not :) wish you would be here.“  
Dan: „Great :) oh and maybe I am.“  
Maria: „Wait what?“

When I turned around the corner to my room, there was Dan in front of it, and somehow I just started crying, because I couldn't believe I met him and would lose him. He just stepped towards me whispered „I know“, and took me in his arms, while I cried. 

At some point Dan gently pushed me in my room, closed the door. „Just put your Pjs on, I will stay with you, alright, just make yourself ready.“

So I showered and putted on my pjs the second time this evening, when I stepped back in the room, the two single bed where pushed together and Dan was taking of his shoes and jacket. I still felt like I would break out in tears any second, and Dan saw it in my expression. I stepped to the bed and noticed Dan looking amused at my soft toy. „You still need one?“, he asked nicely. „Just something to hold on to.“, I said shyly, and he smiled.  
I was so tired, and Dan gently pulled me towards the bed.

He held me in his arms, and I felt save.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this chapter is short, but the next chapter may or not be in Dan POV  
> I hope you like this one, and don't worry this story doesn't end when she flies back I have tons to come

Thursday

The sun woke me up the next morning, when I started to notice my surroundings, I felt Dan lying next to me. I was surprised he was still here, he seemed to sleep in peace, because his breathing was even and he looked well rested, well his side looked well rested, because I only saw him partly. I tried not to wake him, while grabbing my phone, to look at the clock, but I failed and I woke him. „Morning.“ he said, and I couldn't even describe what his sleepy voice did to my body. But in the next second I felt guilty for crying. „Morning, I am really sorry about last night.“, I tried to stand up, but Dan just pulled me back. „It’s alright, this whole thing is really crazy and too much to handle for anyone, look I am not saying everything will be fine, but don’t feel bad, because you have feelings, I am your boyfriend, I want to be there for you, even if I am the reason why you’re crying.“ „I just wished things would be different and I wouldn't leave the day after tomorrow, I wished we could live together and not be a 2 hour flight away.“, I said miserably. „Lets just make the best out of today and tomorrow, we still have a video to film.“, he suggested with a smirk, and I just smiled back. „Then let me go, so I can get ready and we can get over to your place.“, I added and he released my hand.

Because Dan slept near me and functioned as a heating batterie I was sweaty and decided to shower, before I made my way into the bathroom, I looked at Dan who was still lying on the bed and chewing now a gum and was, which I assumed, busy making his phone clear from notifications.

10 minutes later I stepped out of the bathroom in my underwear, and this time I couldn't even blink before Dan was passionately kissing me. The kissing became more and more intense, the next thing I knew, I took of his shirt, and I expected a little belly, but it looked like he had started to work out, because what I saw, was a hint of a six-pack. Now we both were in our underwear, and though I knew I would hate myself from doing this, I pushed him away from. „Dan we can’t, please don’t, this will hurt so much when we realise what this would mean, I really really really like you, and you are the best boyfriend I ever had, but we just can’t do this right now, can we wait until the last possible moment, so I will only start thinking about this, when I am back home crying?“, I looked at him afraid of his reaction, but the only thing he responded was „Come on let’s get dress, we still want to shoot this video, right.“ He gave me a brief kiss and we started to search for our clothes.

While we were on our way to their flat, Dan didn’t mention our almost hook up, he just talked and joked with me, and we had a nice way back to their home. „Is Phil at home?“, I asked, while making my way to Dan’s room, form behind I heard Dan answering: „ His brother is in town, so he is meeting up with him, I guess he will be back late.“ 

„Can I play something while you build up our set.“, I asked looking at his piano. „Sure go ahead, it’s nice to have background music anyway.“ So I sat down and started to play first some modern classic, and some movie soundtracks, at the end I started to play Mario sound tracks and some soundtrack of animes, where Dan just shockingly stopped moving and just heard the tunes until I stopped, I got applause. „That was great, so lets film the video.“ „So what are we actually gonna do?“, I questioned. „So I have some pieces of paper were two things are written on, and you need to decide what your favourite is.“

Video

Dan:„Hey guys, today I am here with Maria, you know who she is, be nice.“  
Maria: „Hi“  
Dan: „So today, we are going to play something, Phil wrote down some things we need to choose between, so I will take a piece of paper and there will be two things, and Maria and me need to say what and why we choose one of those. So lets get started.“  
Maria: „So the first one: the Docter and River Song, or the Doctor and Rose?“  
Dan: „Thats a tough one. So?“  
Maria: „Well I guess I love both, because Rose and Doctor were perfect, but I love River and doctor more, because of the sass between them.“  
Dan: „I’d say I am a rose shipper, I love River but I love Rose and Docs chemistry.“  
Maria: „So the next one is: duffy or donald duck?“  
Dan: „That’s easy I love Donald Duck, he is my childhood.“  
Maria: „I would say the same.“  
Dan: „So the next one is Summer or Winter.“  
Maria:“ Winter I hate heat, and I love to have an excuse to stay at home in my pjs with a blanket.“  
Dan: „I love winter as well, but mostly because I don’t die wearing black.“  
Maria: „That’s your own fault, the next one, Bella and Jacob or Edward?“  
Dan: „Obviously Bella and Edward, vampires are cool.“  
Maria: „NOOO, Bella and Jacob, he is her best friend, I never could be together with someone who's not my best friend.“  
Dan: „So I am your best friend?“  
Maria: „Idiot, sure you are, best friend and boyfriend ever, so lets go on. Turk and JD or Dan and Phil“

This went on for more than an hour, when we finally ended it was dark outside, and Phil still wasn't at home. „Are you hungry?“, Dan asked after putting away his equiment, so we could move properly in his room. „No, but I would prefer a shower and a nap.“, I said and yawned. „Be my guest, I will look for some towels, and give you one of my t-shirts to sleep in.“ „So I can sleep in your bed for once?“ I mumbled. „You can do way more in this bed than sleep.“, he cheeky whispered, and I blushed, but before I could come up with a sassy respond, Dan already began his search for towels. Somehow I didn't questioned the fact, that I would sleep over in their flat.

I made my way to the bathroom, undressed myself and started to shower, while I showered I heard Dan coming in and leaving again. I stepped out of the shower, dried myself and putted on Dans shirt and because he was so tall the shirt looked more like a dress, but I felt cozy in it. I brushed my teeth with their spare brush, combed my hair and made my way back to Dan’s room.

When I stepped in Dans room only some background lights were on and on the drawers besides the bed were Milk and cookies. He laid on his Bed in his Pjs, what was weird, because he always said he sleeps in his underwear. „Pjs?“, I asked. „Yeah I know, but this is a pyjama day, you look nice in my shirt.“ „Thanks, can I keep it?“, I jokingly, and made my self comfortable near Dan. He putted his arm over my shoulders. „I thought we would do something more, well active.“, I announced, and hoped I didn't blush this much. He looked amused at me, kissed the tip of my nose and answered: „Let’s save this for tomorrow, the week should end with a bang.“ „aaaah my ears, this was terrible, Dan go get in the Bin.“, I said pretending to be in terrible pain, and Dan started to laugh. „So do we have plans for tomorrow?“, I asked now sleepily. „No not really, just out of curiosity which youtuber would you die to meet for.“, he asked. „I already met Phil and you?“, I said confused. „Yeah I know, but still, there must be someone else?“, he pointed out. „Sure, I would love to met Luke and Emma ? Well maybe Evan or Louise, she seems so nice. Why are you asking?“ I said a bit unsure. „I guess I just want to know stuff about you?“, he said and I smiled. „How about we write down some questions, and we both answer the questions each of us wrote down?“, I suggested, whereupon Dan smiled and started to type questions into his phone. After some minutes we were ready, sitting opposite of each other on his bed.

Dan started: „Ok, there are kind of basic, so what’s your favourite colour?“ „Yellow and Blue.“ I responded, and Dan continued : „I don’t really have one.“„What about black?“ I asked and he winked at me. „My turn who was your first time.“, I asked, „The girl I was in a relationship for 3 years. yours?“, he asked back. „I had a boyfriend for some months last year and because I was a virgin, I was curious so yeah, but he was really nice, it just didn’t work out, because of me don’t having the time do be his girlfriend.“, I said and somehow I remembered that when I would go back home my law-student-life would start again. „First kiss?“, Dan said. „Not a nice memory, a guy who took advantage of my feelings for him, kissed me when he was drunk, it was just a brief kiss, no tongue but it’s still somehow counts and that hurts, and he didn’t remember is the next day because he was so drunk… and the real first kiss, was a guy I met in university, we got along very well and were good friends, after some months we started dating. I think it’s my turn to ask.“,I looked at my phone for the question, I really had the feeling I was talking to much. „Wait I need to answer the kiss thing, but I guess you know the story anyway.“, Dan interrupted my thoughts, and I nodded and went on „What was your first thought of me?“ „Aww she is so cute, I don’t want her to be shy around me. Because you froze back then, remember.“, he said and smiled, he starred at me waiting for an answer, but just for a moment I lost myself in his eyes. Then Dan added something to the question. „Can you tell me how it was seeing me first time on youtube and seeing first time my real self?“ „When I first saw your video I just thought, wow we are very alike in some points, and he is very smart and looks good and his eyes. Well you hear I started to crush on you, I mean your youtube you, and when I first saw your real self, or after I saw it for a couple hours, my thought was, shit I am starting to get a real crush on him.“, I confessed and look down. Dan leaned forward and gave me a sweet brief kiss. „How about we ask each other one more question and then lets call it a day?“, he said. „Sure go ahead.“, I mumbled. „Do you have a dog?“ „Not anymore, she passed away, but I really love dogs.“, I said and he knew that I already knew everything about Collin. „Your turn.“, Dan whispered. „Do you think, we can make this work?“ Instead of answering, he putted down his phone and took mine to do the same, than he started to kiss me passionately, when he stopped he just said. „I don’t know, but I know I really really like you, maybe I even love you, and I will try to make you happy, because I have the feeling I know you better than Phil.“, he said and because I was so shocked, my mouth moved on his own. „I love you too.“, when I realised what I have said, it was too late, but Dan only smiled. „Let’s get some sleep tomorrow is our last day.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so how did you like it leave comments :D
> 
> Azusa

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it :)  
> tell me your thoughts,  
> I have plenty more chapters to come :)  
> #Nicerinternet
> 
> \- azusa


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